...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
