She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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