I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
