Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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