Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
