Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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