Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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