Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There's always time for handjobs
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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