If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
