Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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