some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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