Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
