I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
