Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
