i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I wish i was in the wii world.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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