Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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