You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
