I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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