Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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