Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
