i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
