they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
