You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
