Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize