I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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