The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
