Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
