using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
