Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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