Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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