U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
