Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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