Porn is love you can see.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize