He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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