Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
