plz talk dirty to me
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
