You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
