You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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