Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
