her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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