Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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