it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
