you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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