How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
MIDGETS
????
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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