Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
