Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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