farters have to be the big spoon...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
