Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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