and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
not ubering you a puppy
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
