Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
