I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My room smells like vodka and shame
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Send help, water and tortillas.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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