i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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