just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
