so explain again why im purple
no
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
