OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
