Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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