i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
