And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
