and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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