I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
