I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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