I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
