So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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