I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You ruined the universe
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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