ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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