He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
