Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
