i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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