Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
